Art Project For Buses Has Tinge Of Comedy

Metro must have hired the "Saturday Night Live" scriptwriters. The local transit agency has announced a $200,000 Artists Regional Transit Project (Metro calls it "ARTp") that sounds like something only a stand-up comedian could love.

Would you believe a $20,000 grant for a group traveling the region presenting transit dramas? Or $3,600 for three performance artists to board buses to entertain commuters? Or a $2,500 grant to two writers to begin their bus journeys, meet for lunch, then travel back and write about the adventure?

Seriously, folks. The ARTp project has at least as many possibilities as last year's Art in Public Places' exhibit with its controversial street banners and heaps of used clothing.

I can barely wait until the presentation of "Dances with Buses," which will feature a Kevin Costner look-alike tangoing in the Third Avenue bus lanes. Or "Dance of the Metro Managers," a ballet of executives vying for bonuses. Or "The Tunnel Dance," a troupe in rainproof tutus, choreographed to capitalize on the drip-drip-drip rhythm of tunnel leaks.

MOST WANTED: One Puget Sounder attending the Growth Management Inter-Regional Visit to Irvine, Ca., tells about a Sunday morning exchange. Seattle land-use attorney John Hempelmann was surveying the Los Angeles Times' want ads. He commented, "It's nice to know there's one place where lawyers are wanted."

"There are others," countered King County Councilman Paul Barden. "Try the U.S. Post Office."

MAYOR NOT: Who's the Eastside's best mayor? Eastside Journal publisher Knute Berger casts a vote for Seattle Mayor Norm Rice. Berger offers several reasons, among them: (1) Rice is NOT former Mayor Charles Royer, viewed by many Eastside officials as unwilling to cooperate; (2) Rice scored points for opposing the Metro-King County merger, and (3) Rice is admired for his 2010 plan, seen as a bold approach to growth management.

MEMORY LANE: A film crew arrived this week to begin work on a CBS "Movie of the Week." Working title for the film is "With a Vengeance." It stars Melissa Gilbert-Brinkman, best known for her role in "Little House on the Prairie;" Jack Scalia from "Tequila and Bonetti;" and Michael Gross from "Family Ties."

The story concerns an au pair who loses her memory and finds it in Seattle. Don't we all?

PAST YOUR EYES: KING-FM's boast of innovative programming is not without justification. The traffic report that a cow was stuck in the mud at a local intersection prompted announcer Brad Eaton to dedicate a song to the cow ("Cattle" by Virgil Thompson).

Meanwhile, listeners were phoning in cow puns. Best of the worst: "That cow has raised the steaks in the traffic situation." "It must have been an udder nightmare." And "KING has always broadcast in steerio."

NO MEANS NO: You've heard about the NIMBY (not-in-my-back-yard) syndrome, but have you heard about the ultimate, the BANANA response? It stands for "build absolutely nothing anywhere near anybody."

Jean Godden's column appears Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday in the Northwest section of The Times. Her phone is 464-8300.