This Clock Watcher Has Time For You - And Then Some
The other day an e-mail arrived, one of those short notes that said something nice. You know, the kind that we vow to start sending but never do, that takes a minute to write but brightens somebody's entire day.
I couldn't help noticing the e-mail moniker of the sender: Grandpatime. It turned out that tens of thousands of you already have met him, even though you never knew his real name. This year, he'll receive something like 500,000 calls, a radio talk-show host's fantasy.
"I reach the public via 361-TIME," wrote Grandpatime. "Where I live I sometimes don't see anyone in person for two days, so I like e-mail and telephones. I like to read people's ideas."
I decided to visit with Neal Vonada, 72, especially when I learned of another free phone service he offers.
When you call 206-361-TIME, you also are given a second phone number, one that keeps callers coming back time after time. His following includes blind individuals, those who might be laid up in a hospital.
They can dial 206-440-8735 and hear jokes, vignettes, ruminations about the world, ideas for local trips and even the history of the hymn "Amazing Grace." It's kind of like tapping into an immense Reader's Digest archive. About as naughty as it gets with the jokes is Vonada repeating this T-shirt saying: "Wanted: meaningful overnight relationship."
Grandpatime lives alone in a big home in the North End overlooking Puget Sound, although his children and grandkids are nearby. He's been married twice; cancer took both his wives.
His home has 13 phones and an intricate phone-answering system in the basement. Vonada once owned a phone-supply store, so he knows quite a bit about them. Since he always liked talking to people, this seemed like a good retirement hobby. Needless to say, there are plenty of clocks scattered about the home.
That 206-361-TIME call, by the way, becomes even more popular when daylight-saving time starts and ends. Then, for several weeks, calls jump from 900 to 4,000 a day. Vonada considers it his duty to provide the most accurate time possible, checking frequently with the U.S. Naval Observatory's atomic clock.
"One time I had Caller ID, and I know that people from Amtrak, from steamships, from government agencies called to get the time. I know lawyers use it to prepare a case, because they've called, wanting to know how accurate it is," Vonada said.
Sometimes, when he's programming the equipment, and a call comes in, Grandpatime picks up the phone and answers directly. "They're always bashful. They never expected a real person," he said.
When you call for the stories, what you get is the phone version of sitting around on a porch, Grandpatime talking about this and that. Vonada is one of those entrepreneur types who have done everything from being a door-to-door Fuller brush salesman to selling cemetery lots, then owning recreational vehicle lots, buying property, starting a telephone store, then building a mall on Aurora Avenue called Von's Square. He has plenty of experience to draw from, plus a good selection of joke books and e-mails sent to him from regular callers.
You get to hear, for example, about a scratch-and-dent sale he once had, when a trailer in his RV lot was accidentally nicked. "I advertised it as a dented trailer on sale. Everybody wanted to buy it. I told that to another dealer in Kennewick, and he called me a few weeks later. He was real excited. He went right out and dented some trailers with a hammer, and people wanted to buy them," he said.
You get to hear about the holding ponds he has on his hillside property to collect runoff. One day, he says, he saw ducks there - including a mallard drake. The duck family had moved in.
You get to hear his suggestion for a day trip with friends or family. Drive to Snoqualmie Falls, he said.
"It's a good chance to talk," Grandpatime gently suggested. He, of course, knows the great value of that advice.
Erik Lacitis' column runs Sunday, Tuesday and Friday. His phone number is 206-464-2237. His e-mail address is: elac-new@seatimes.com.