Outtakes
If it takes only two movies to make a trend, then we've definitely got one on our hands: the geezer movie, exemplified by "Space Cowboys" (starring Clint Eastwood, Tommy Lee Jones, Donald Sutherland and James Garner) and this week's "The Crew" (with the slightly more B-listy quartet of Burt Reynolds, Richard Dreyfuss, Dan Hedaya and Seymour Cassel). Henceforth, a handful of Geezer Movie Facts:
-- A geezer is defined by Hollywood as an actor over age 55 or so who doesn't look quite as good as he once did (Paul Newman, who is still inexplicably a babe at 75, doesn't qualify). With rare exceptions, geezers turn up as kindly father figures, weathered con men, knowledgeable veterans or comic sidekicks who complain about their prostates.
-- The technical term for a female geezer is "old broad," but this is irrelevant, as nobody in Hollywood makes films about women over 55. Case in point: A new screenplay from Carrie Fisher, helpfully titled "These Old Broads" and with Shirley MacLaine, Debbie Reynolds, Joan Collins and Elizabeth Taylor attached, recently made the rounds of the studios before ending up at ABC as a future movie-of-the-week.
-- To see an unexpectedly lyrical geezer movie, rent "The Straight Story," a perfectly lovely film about an old guy and his lawn mower. Geezer extraordinaire Richard Farnsworth received a Best Actor nomination last year for his work in the film, making him the oldest nominee ever at 79.
-- Seen the trailer for the upcoming golf film "The Legend of Bagger Vance," with Matt Damon and Will Smith? It could have been a geezer movie: Word is director Robert Redford originally considered casting himself and Morgan Freeman in the two leads, but changed his mind.
-- Patron saint of geezers: Walter Matthau, R.I.P.
-- A-list geezers: Jack Nicholson, Warren Beatty, Sean Connery, Michael Douglas, Anthony Hopkins.
-- Geezers-in-training: Mel Gibson, Roberto Benigni, Jackie Chan, Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray.
-- Least likely ever to appear in a geezer comedy: Sean Penn.