After the story: Couple's first kiss was worth waiting for

The kiss lasted about seven seconds. And it was worth the months of waiting.

When Jill Merry and Adrian Burwell wed Aug. 16, they also shared with one another — at the altar — their very first kiss. Merry, 26, and Burwell, 28, tilted their heads to the left (they had talked about this in advance) and sealed their marriage in front of about 500 people.

"It was so wonderful," said Merry, now Jill Burwell. "It was just the most awesome experience, I can't even put it into words. It's just wonderful to be able to kiss your husband for the first time."

We told readers about the couple, who drew the physical line to their dating relationship at holding hands, a few weeks ago on the front page of The Seattle Times.

They met at a Southern Baptist evangelical church in Renton, began dating last November and got engaged in May.

Although the bride was nervous prior to the ceremony at TimberLake Christian Fellowship in Redmond, as soon as she began walking down the aisle, the anxiety melted away.

"I saw him and it totally relaxed me. And it was such a wonderful feeling that I was about to be married to him forever," she recalled.

And after they said their vows, they shared their first kiss.

"There were some tears in the audience. But he and I were just beaming from ear to ear," she said.

After the story ran in The Times, the couple agreed to do interviews with radio stations that contacted them from around the country, and as far away as England.

The experience, said Jill Burwell, "was mixed, because we were just glad to be able to give people just a different option to things and let them know you don't have to get caught in the dating trap. And at the same time, we did go very public and we felt like our private lives were made public."

But, she added, "We have no regrets for the decisions we made, and it was just this most awesome experience in our lives and we were happy to share that with people."

Readers react

After the story appeared, a number of Seattle Times readers sent in their thoughts on what Merry and Burwell were doing. Here are some extracts of their comments.

I think this is a great story. It is unique, and the power of restraint is romantic. I, too, will have my first kiss on my wedding day. It is ... a beautiful way to love your future mate.

— Mary Phillips,
Kenmore

I can't think of what on earth would stop two people committed to each other, about to be married, to not kiss until they are married! This was a compelling interview and story. I suppose these are two very strong individuals, although I found myself pondering, "Hummmm ... " to some of their quotes.

As you point out, it is an unusual trend for a beautiful young lady of 26 years, and 28-year-old man to wait to kiss, of all things. Since kissing is such a natural thing to do for couples, I wonder how these two could justify it so long and even feel like they are not suppressing a very human and healthy way to show your love for someone.

But as you point out, their religious convictions are the guiding principles of their lives. I guess there is nothing wrong with it.

Hopefully they'll sit down for a cold beer after they kiss. But I'm sure those are forbidden in their world — which would be very interesting to try to understand.

— John Pressentin
Auburn

Just read your article about the couple kissing for the first time after they marry. I think this is wonderful!

Please keep reporting uplifting news like this, I really love reading about people doing the right thing in a sex-crazy world.

— Tish Payne
Tucson, Ariz.

Our first kiss was also at the altar. We are dedicated Christians and chose courtship instead of dating. We wanted to honor God in our relationship, so we decided to not kiss until the moment we became husband and wife. We both knew that kissing and petting served no purpose but to send our bodies down a path that was very difficult to stop on. Why turn on those emotions when we knew we were committed to not fulfilling those desires until we were married? ...

The decision to not kiss fell right in with my desire to give my husband the best wedding gift of all, my purity.

When it was announced during the ceremony that our first kiss would be in front of our wedding guests, there was a huge gasp heard in the church. They had not heard of this practice, and many of them told us how honored they felt to witness that special kiss.

It was very hard to wait until that moment to kiss. One day, while we were packing things in preparation of our moving in together after the wedding, Patrick, my fiancé, picked up a Pez dispenser and took a piece of candy with his lips and offered me some of the candy. As I took a piece with my lips I commented that this was the closest to kissing we could get. Patrick laughed and said that he had been thinking the exact same thing.

From then on, whenever we had a strong urge to kiss, we would pop a Pez in our mouth to get through the moment. ...

I know from experience how hard it was to wait. In today's society that wait seems impossible and silly. If they could only feel the joy that we felt in enjoying each others' body with no guilt whatsoever, then they would know that waiting for that treasure makes it that much more precious and valuable.

— Valorie Stockstill
Sylmar, Calif.

My boyfriend and I have promised to wait to kiss as well. It is a decision that we came to when we first started dating.

We want to further our emotional relationship and communication first and save the physical for when we are married. We have the rest of our lives to enjoy each other after we take our vows. ...

We realized that there is no need to rush into physical intimacy and miss the basics of communication and getting to know the other person. These basics are what will keep a marriage together.

We made a commitment to honor each other and honor God in waiting, and while many people do not understand and think we are crazy, we know that we will be greatly rewarded in many ways in our marriage and intimacy.

— Angela M. Underhill
Edmonds

Thanks for bringing us such a refreshing story. All too often these days couples bond physically way before emotional bonding.

I don't think it's necessary to be totally devoted to a religion to do the right thing. After all, we're human beings, not wild animals who can't control our own urges.

I applaud the couple for finding each other and sticking to their commitment despite natural desires.

Please send them my best wishes for a blissful wedding and a life together happily ever after.

— Jasper Chew
San Francisco

Gina Kim: 206-464-2761 or gkim@seattletimes.com