Tips for parents

FOR ALL PARENTS

• Watch for risky transition times — especially for girls — as students move from elementary to middle school, middle to high school and high school to college.

• Don't underestimate your power to prevent substance use. Children who report a positive relationship with their parents are less likely to use drugs and alcohol. Even eating dinner as a family regularly is shown to improve the odds.

• Set house rules, such as a curfew, before problems arise. "Then if kids start staying out late, you know something's going on," said Chris, an Eastside mom who dealt with her children's substance abuse.

• If you suspect substance abuse, take teens to a specialist, not their pediatrician. A survey of primary-care physicians found that when presented with common symptoms of teen drug use (red eyes, runny nose, headache, chronic fatigue, loss of appetite, loss of interest in school and worsening relations with parents), four out of 10 pediatricians failed to cite substance abuse as a potential diagnosis.

• Don't dismiss children's use of alcohol or marijuana because you experimented with these drugs and didn't get hooked. "These are different drugs, different kids and a different social scene now," Chris said.

• Be very wary if you discover your child's friends are drinking or using drugs.

FOR PARENTS OF GIRLS

• Be alert to even subtle changes in behavior. "They may not be in trouble more, but there's a switch in their personality," said Linda Penhallegon with Youth Eastside Services.

• If you seek counseling for your daughter's eating disorder, self-inflicted cutting, depression or attempted suicide, have her evaluated for alcohol and drug use as well. Otherwise, you risk adding prescription drugs on top of illegal substances.

• Be vigilant for signs of substance abuse among girls who diet excessively, experience early puberty or have been physically or sexually abused.

• Many experts recommend all-female treatment programs, especially for girls who are victims of sexual trauma.

• Be wary of binge drinking with younger girls. While this is less common for older girls than older boys, the gap is narrower for ninth-graders (23 percent of girls versus 26 percent of boys).

• Make sure girls know alcohol is high in calories; one study found that just over half of girls were aware of that.

FOR PARENTS OF BOYS

• Don't hold a double standard that drinking or smoking pot is OK for boys. Boys are more likely than girls to report that a parent supplied drugs.

• Seek treatment for boys. Too often, parents write off substance use as a rite of passage, Penhallegon said.

• Discuss the dangers of drinking and driving: As boys are much more likely to engage in this risky behavior than girls.

• Be strict but supportive. One study found parents with sons were less likely than those with daughters to know who was out with their child; to make family rules clear; to discuss misbehavior; to praise achievements; and to refrain from disparaging them.

• Make sure boys have a support system. In one 1997 survey, a fifth of boys reported having "no one" to talk to when they were stressed, depressed or overwhelmed. That compared with 13 percent of girls, who were more likely to turn to friends or family.