Who gets billed for this fleecing?

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World shearing champion David Fagan has been called in to do the honors after a fugitive merino sheep that had avoided annual roundups for six years was finally apprehended in the rugged hills of New Zealand's South Island.

The sheep — now known as Shrek — has accumulated an estimated 60 pounds of fleece while he was on the lam.

"You've got to be pretty careful with it to just open up the fleece of that length," Fagan told Agence France-Presse. "It's going to be hard enough not to cut it."

At least, that's what Johnny Damon's barber told him.

Beckham's hair-apparents

Soccer star David Beckham has shaved off his flowing blond hair, sending a bunch of professional Beckham impersonators to the barber chair to follow suit with a close-cropped look.

"They follow it to the wire," Jez Lee, whose Fake Faces agency include counterfeit Beckhams, told AFP. "Whatever earrings he has, they get duplicates — copies, obviously not the real diamonds, they can't afford that. They get watch copies, clothes copies."

If that's the case, we'd love to be a fly on a lookalike's wall when Beckham announces he's having a double root-canal.

The Husker Improv

Steve Pederson, the Nebraska athletic director who found himself under fire after firing football coach Frank Solich, hasn't lost his sense of humor, telling the Grand Island (Neb.) Rotary Club about a helicopter trip he and wife Tami took from Kansas City to Lincoln.

Pederson said he decided to throw a $100 bill out the window just to make one person happy. Upon discovering he only had two $50 bills, his wife suggested he throw them both out the window and make two people happy.

The Grand Island Independent was there to record Pederson's punchline: "About that time, the pilot said, 'Why don't you jump out the window and make everybody happy?' "

Seen, heard, said

• Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on Saturday's Kentucky Derby: "I don't wanna say it's a weak field, but one of the favorites is two guys in a sewn-together horse outfit."

• NASCAR driver Kenny Wallace, to Fox Sports Net, on seeing a multicar pileup coming: "When somebody wrecks in front of you going 200 miles an hour, you're along for the ride. You're thinking, 'How bad is this going to hurt? Will I die? Do I have life insurance? Will I see my kids again? Hey, I'm OK!' "

• Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, on the new NASCAR Ballet: "This will be an educational experience for most NASCAR fans, who think 'The Nutcracker' is the guy with the pneumatic lug wrench."

• Matt Crossman of The Sporting News, on Archie Manning warning the San Diego Chargers not to draft his son Eli: "Somewhere, Ryan Leaf's dad is slapping his forehead."

King of the row

Six men from England's Dittons Skiff and Punting Club have smashed the record for rowing down the River Thames in England, covering the 186-mile route in 30 hours, 57 minutes.

Boating experts say you don't need to be totally crazy to attempt such a stunt — just a little dinghy.

— Dwight Perry, The Seattle Times