We adore, abhor what stars wore

Joan and Melissa Rivers were rumored to be on the red carpet — somewhere — but really, who can find the TV Guide Channel? Never mind.

The Emmys are supposedly when stars get bold and tend to eschew the advice of their personal stylists. This can be the only explanation for Barbra Streisand, who showed up wearing pink velvet drapes, complete with tassles. It was at least 70 degrees.

Pre-show hostess Maria Menounos, meanwhile, made the egregious error of wearing the same outfit as a Muppet. Worse, it was a tutu. Did we learn nothing from the Lara Flynn Boyle Incident of 2003? (Frankly, it looked better on Miss Piggy.)

Though a handful of stars opted, disappointingly, for black — Sarah Jessica Parker, Drea de Matteo, Portia de Rossi and Edie Falco among them — shades of purple, fall's It color, showed up on everyone from Bonnie Hunt and Melanie Griffith to George Lopez and Sam Saboura, the fashion guru from ABC's "Extreme Makeover." Someone forgot to tell Debra Messing that purple is the new pink.

Jamie-Lynn DiScala and Allison Janney were stunning in green gowns; Jennifer Aniston, Felicity Huffman and Joely Richardson were visions in white. Jennifer Garner, also in white, made a misstep in choosing what appeared to be a large doily. She should have accessorized with Ben Affleck to draw attention away from the gown.

Teri Hatcher's white strapless gown fit her beautifully; pity that something apparently threw up on it (art, schmart). Patricia Heaton's crazy striped number, meantime, was enough to induce motion sickness.

Heather Locklear could arguably look good in anything, but a bikini top with an Oriental rug wrapped around her waist is pushing it. Mischa Barton can be forgiven because she's young, very young. Her gold spangly dress would've been better suited to a cocktail-swilling grandmother.

Jeffrey Tambor lost the supporting actor award for "Arrested Development," but his playful polka-dot tie was a winner in our book. Small victory.

Loved Jane Kaczmarek's classy — but still fun — strapless rosebud number.

Cheryl Hines, in a backless turquoise halter adorned with sequins and feathers, perfectly captured the spirit of the Emmys red carpet: refreshing, fun and not taking itself too seriously. Of course, we can't speak for what happened inside.

Pamela Sitt: 206-464-2376 or psitt@seattletimes.com