My, how we've grown! (Luckily, so has bra technology)

Don't look now, but your boobs just got bigger. And it's not even PMS week!

Truth is, all of our boobs are getting bigger. Not from pregnancy, not from improved posture — not even from Wonderbras.

From fat.

Our average bra size has swelled from a 34B to a 36C — maybe even a 36D, says Macy's "bra lady" herself, body consultant Jane Dursteler. Sure, implants and estrogen are partly to blame, but it's our rotten eating habits that really are putting the "hoo!" in our hooters. The proof, as they say, is in the pudding. Or, in my own personal case, the pumpkin scones at my local coffee shop. A few consecutive days of lattes and luscious lard balls, especially during PMS week, and I'm spilling out of my cups like a grande mocha in a shot glass.

Need more proof? Consider the converse. Seen Nicole Richie or Kelly Ripa lately? They used to have boobs, back when they actually swallowed food. (This theory, of course, applies only to real breasts. Which raises a question about Lindsay Lohan: How does she stay so boobalicious when she's down to 20 pounds?)

I rest my corset.

Sure, for some girls — like you perky little A-cups — it might be tempting to super-size for a spell and pack on a cup size or two. But for the truly ample, bigger breasts actually can be a burden.

Bump up to a D cup, and you're lugging around 15 to 23 pounds of boobage, according to an article in Discover magazine.

Think what that means for Oprah, working, working, working to tone up and slim down, who said on her bra-themed show that she's a DD. (And then try not to picture her wheeling that out in her little Wagon o' Fat.)

But, naturally, in her Oprah way, that show performed a huge service — clueing in millions of women to the importance of a comfortable, well-fitting bra.

"Women in our store hadn't taken bras seriously for years," says Dursteler, an intimate-apparel expert for 22 years. In the past decade, though, that's been changing, she says, thanks to new fabrics, new choices — and a new awareness.

Uplifting trends

In a huge show of support for our support systems, bra manufacturers are rising to the occasion, tossing out new styles and technology like penalty flags at the Super Bowl — especially for the well-endowed.

You know how big old Aunt Hilda used to buy a few basic 18 Hour Bras and call it a day? There now are more than a dozen styles of 18 Hour Bras, from "comfort lace with breathable Airform" to the "stress-free leisure bra."

More uplifting (ha!) trends:

• The demise of the evil underwire. For years, big-bosomed women relied on pointy little spears under their cups for lift and support. But now, bra makers are working with flexible wire. The new Bioform Bra uses a plastic insert instead of wire, and a brand called No Poke ... well, we're guessing it doesn't poke you.

• For the active ample woman, the Enell sports bra promises more comfortable — and, apparently, safer — exercise sessions. (That same Discover article says that while small breasts can bounce more than 3 inches during a jog, large breasts can slap against the chest hard enough to break the clavicle!)

• Bra fabrics have grown amazingly scientific, with friction-free sports bras (the NuMetrex even has a built-in heart-rate monitor), seamless designs from Wacoal that mold to your body and the Breathe collection from Vanity Fair with wicking and an antimicrobial finish.

And you can pitch that stinky old padded bra — today, most bras opt instead for a superthin lining, Dursteler says, that molds to your shape, protects your modesty and holds up in the laundry.

Size matters

But all the technology in the world can't bring comfort to your cleavage if you're wearing the wrong-size bra — and some reports say 85 percent of us are. How to tell? Fitters say your bra is bad if you're always tugging at it, if your shoulder straps keep sliding or if you develop bumpy bulges every time you strap the thing on.

Hey — if you're still sporting the 34B you wore in high school, congratulations. Please stay away from my husband. And if your shiny new implants stand up on their own, I am happy for you. Please point them away from my house.

But if for any other reason you need a new bra — please, for all that is good, seek help.

"Bra-fitting isn't just about what the tape measure says," says Macy's assistant fit trainer Debby Schaeperkoetter. (Not that you even could measure yourself properly — one of the three measurements the pros take is above the bust, under the armpits, which you probably couldn't do right unless you're in the circus.)

Measurements are just a starting point for a good fitter, who can't completely determine which bra works best for you until she sees you in a couple of styles.

"Part of what we do is help balance the body," adds Dursteler. "You put a 36DDD in the correct size and style, and she won't look out of proportion. But when she's in the wrong size, she spills out. It's not quite as flattering, and she's uncomfortable."

And really, now, do we want unflattering, uncomfortable, fat-swollen boobs? Um, no. So? Stay fit — and get fitted.