Many readers respond with passion to column about sailors' deaths

Last week's musings about one reader's anger triggered a range of heartfelt responses.

My column last week concerned a woman reader who was angry over coverage of four young sailors killed in a high-speed crash. She had written, "I find it absolutely disgusting that The Seattle Times would write an article on these boys as if we are supposed to be sympathetic about how they died ... They were purposefully driving recklessly through a busy street and are lucky they didn't kill any innocent bystanders." The range of responses to that column is captured in the following two e-mails, the first from a man and the second from a woman.

He said, "The only news worth reading about is perhaps the good innocent people who are themselves killed by these idiots ... They only hurt themselves with their stupid decisions. Outside of their family, does anyone else skip a beat?"

She said, "How could this woman say 'This was no accident'? Does she honestly think that they were out to kill themselves! ... I will say, yes, I am glad they didn't kill anyone else, but how can she be so cold about the situation?? They were friends of mine who I cared for very much. To hear anyone speak of them in that way kills me inside!!"

Other responses covered a full array of emotions and viewpoints.

A Lynnwood man wrote, "Since there are no survivors of the really bad car crashes, we will never know precisely what happened. Even to speculate that the driver was driving recklessly is improper. To blame the passengers in the car for their own deaths is even more improper. They might have been begging the driver to slow down. We don't know.

"The families in these cases are no doubt suffering a terrible loss. To slander the dead serves no purpose; give the dead the benefit of the doubt," he said.

A recently retired Navy master chief master-at-arms wrote from personal experience. "What happened this night was a tragedy. A tragedy that a sailor was acting irresponsible and a tragedy that four sailors lost their lives. Does the fact that one made a poor choice make him any less of a man?

"I had the unfortunate experience of losing one of my sailors to a senseless drunken-driving episode. Despite his poor choice, he was a good man, a good son and an excellent sailor. I understand this woman's anger in one sense, but even more so, I understand your reporter's purpose in the way she expressed their story. Three of the four sailors were victims. Their lives ought to be celebrated as all four were VERY successful in their careers and had made their families proud. We've all made mistakes, we've all made poor choices, and for those who state they haven't, shame on them!"

An Issaquah man wrote, "Yes, all people have families — those who kill and those who are killed. And when those who kill simply kill themselves, we are in a quandary. We must treat the victims' families both as families of killers and families of those killed.

"It seems, however, that there is too much of an attempt to treat in gentler ways those who cause death through stupidity, arrogance, ignorance, or immaturity than those who do so through greed, indifference, or other causes. Causing death should be recognized first as causing death. End of story ...

"My point is that we must become a good deal more realistic and less idealistic about death, any and all, and we must ask ourselves in the case of the senseless deaths, who is responsible for them and how can we prevent these deaths in the future?"

A Puyallup man wrote, "I understand that, at least in Pierce County, the authorities are going to step up speed law enforcement. Please take some of your valuable newsprint space to support the focus on curbing socially irresponsible and dangerous activities. That could take a lot of perspectives, but one of them, I hope, would not be to scorn those innocent sailors and their families who are grieving."

A woman from Seattle wrote that a crime was committed by one of the men. "He killed his friends and put many at risk. I think we can all feel a little angry at the killer, and want a little justice. Though we may not think he deserved to die for it, we certainly would have wanted this man to do jail time for manslaughter and endangering the public. I can see how the general public would feel ambivalent to the families' pain if the rest of the matter is left unacknowledged."

A retired Times editor wrote, "I must agree with the letter writer but with sympathy for the loss of young people. They are the victims of an increasingly warped American society. Too much easy money for fast cars, liquor and drugs, the proliferation of violence in movies and TV and what I regard as a mysterious loss of just plain common sense ... But whether the angry writer likes it or not, it's the duty of the media to report the incidents AND the resulting grief."

A man from Seattle wrote, "I do think that the press often underestimates what I call the default of sanction that publicity brings. Your [deputy] managing editor had responded, 'I don't think printing that means we're making them out as heroes.' I want to suggest to you that, actually, publicity does tend to push in that direction."

Another Seattle man wrote, "I am very perplexed what is or is not happening with how we as adults are raising our kids. I do believe it's the adults who are at fault ultimately. We adults tolerate incredible desensitizers in our entertainment media, then we stand back and let our kids get sent over to other countries to let them watch and die horrible deaths like they are America's personal and expendable resource to keep getting what they want."

A Bellevue woman wrote, "The fact there has recently been a rash of traffic deaths, particularly involving young people, is lost on no one. As parents, we blink back tears and ache for victims' families. I read every word of the very well-written article that gave those sailors identity, dignity and reverence for their accomplished lives."

A Seattle woman wrote, "I do care for these and all the kids who get themselves hurt or killed in cars. That does not mean I am sympathetic. That car was speeding through city streets. I fear being maimed or killed myself, for no reason other than that I dared to drive my car on city streets at night. ... When one of these self-inflicted accidents occurs, I'd rather the focus be on the public-safety aspect of the story."

Another woman wrote, "My baby sister was widowed and my 5-year-old niece was left fatherless as a result of the wreck this angry letter addresses ... I make no excuses for the boys in that car; however, no one knows if the driver was angry at one of the other boys, if he was showing off and the other boys were scared ... there are endless possibilities for what might have happened in the situation and regardless of the circumstances ... four intelligent young men were killed by one unintelligent decision."

A Whidbey Island man whose 25-year-old son was killed in an accidental fall seven years ago asked for more sensitivity to families. "The death of young people is news when some gunman storms a schoolhouse, shoots young girls and then shoots himself. The accidental death of a child should never be news unless there is a public-safety issue, and even then, let's allow the parents take up the cause."

He said his son's death was not reported in the news media. "I just didn't see why this tragic story was anyone's business but our own. We celebrated his life with friends and family, and continue to do so. And we are often stopped cold by thoughts of what he would be doing now.

"It is irrelevant what your e-mailer thinks. She doesn't know. She need not know, if only you guys would let some of these stories go unreported."

And, finally, these thoughts from a young man who was a friend to one of the dead sailors:

"I agree wholeheartedly that the deaths of these four young men was senseless and a complete waste. When I think of how my friend died it makes me sick to my stomach. Yes, I agree that they were acting extremely selfishly and irresponsibly, but it does not make them the awful people that the reader paints them to be ...

"I just miss my friend and I know he and his friends did a bad thing, but they paid much too high of a price for it and they should be remembered for the amazing human beings that they were, not the final act that took them from this earth and all the people that loved them."

Inside The Times appears in the Sunday Seattle Times. If you have a comment on news coverage, write to Michael R. Fancher, P.O. Box 70, Seattle, WA 98111, call 206-464-3310 or send e-mail to mfancher@seattletimes.com. More columns at www.seattletimes.com/columnists